Out of Nowhere

It has been over a year since I was in Africa, over a year since I awoke to the din of a thousand chickens and barking dogs, all awake long before the sunrise. I feel compelled to begin writing again so that I can better understand where I am and where I am going. I feel compelled to share with you what is going on in my life so that you might know how you can best join with me in prayer and also reasons for thanksgiving. I hope that you'll share your stories with me and with others in your life. By sharing, we understand each other better. By sharing, we understand ourselves better. With greater understanding, we might just discover that we are more alike than we are different, and there just might be peace in our time.



Uncertainty. It is a word that accurately sums up just about everything that has happened since Africa. I returned from Africa uncertain of what was next, and uncertainty certainly didn't disappoint. I don't plan on writing endlessly about what has been, I never did like prequels, no, instead I will start with right now as "day one." Suffice it to say I came home, remained unemployed for a very long time, got to know my family again, got to know my church family, rediscovered friendships and found in myself a renewed sense of purpose and direction. I thought I had grown a lot in Africa, I had no way of knowing then how much growing I would have to do in the first twelve months of being back in the States. Today is "day one," so today I want to spend a little time talking about religion and the "end of the world."

I recently had the very lucky privilege of reading a short paper on religion authored by one of my closest friends as part of a participation assignment for a collegiate "Intro to Religion" course. As I read how religion and its role was intermittent and impotent until faith was born of a personal relationship with Christ Jesus, I realized that this story was common to most, if not all of us at some point in our lives. As I finished reading, I felt moved to share my story, the story of how I came to discover a living, breathing faith, and one that is my constant companion and source of encouragement and comfort. It is with the greatest respect for my friend and out of a place of inspiration that I tell a little bit about what religion has meant to me in my life.

"I have always been interested in religion." There is no truth more true than that. I am both the son and the grandson of Southern Baptist ministers. Despite this extraordinary pedigree, I would be remiss if I did not own up to a rather ordinary childhood with one exception, I was nearly always "about the Lord's business" or at least accompanying the one who was, my dad. Despite the adamant protestations of countless self-ascribed "experts," I seem to be able to remember pretty far back, even as far back as being about two or three years old. That would put me back where it all began, in the rural backwater of a rural town called Dearing, in rural McDuffie County, deep in the Deep South.

I am a Christian. I have always been a Christian. I am a Christian because I believe in the transforming and saving power of Jesus Christ, for whom my religion, Christianity, gets its name. If you know anything about Christianity, I should tell you that it is singularly the most persecuted belief that is also the most tolerant of being persecuted, with a few notable exceptions, something about "crusades," but that's a conversation for another time. Of the Christian religion, Evangelical Christians believe God has commanded each and every Christian to share the good news of Jesus Christ to everyone; saving yourself is not enough and sharing the good news is not solely the job of ministers. Of Evangelical Christians, Southern Baptists are the most active in missions worldwide. While other denominations, or branches of Christianity have sought to update their mission and vision statements to better align themselves with the ever changing popular culture, Southern Baptists have consistently sought to go back to the Bible about every topic that popular culture has raised. I was born into a Southern Baptist family. This is my story.

At a very early age I remember being in the church. A Christian comedian once said, "If the janitor was going to be there cleaning the windows, our family would fill a pew and watch him do it." That would be a pretty accurate picture of my childhood. What's important to note is that proximity to church does not magically imbue a child with Godly behavior. I loved God. I loved Jesus. I went in front of my church to share that I loved Jesus and was later baptized. For years, I went to church with my family. For years, I was either in school or in church. I was just being me though. I was shaped more by friends than by the teachings of the Bible. Eventually, as my teenage life became busier and busier with extra-curricular activities, I found excuses for not going to church. Like many of you, I hardly ever found a reason to read my Bible outside of church, so when I stopped going to church, what little role religion had played in my life was snuffed out. The negative results would only be best seen and understood years later, looking back.

Like the harsh world around me, I became harsh. I became critical, judgemental, arrogant and insensitive and perhaps in some ways cruel. I'd go back to church now and again, but it was always intermittent and non-committal. I never lost my faith or lost sight of what I believed, but it was like a well-read book that I had resigned to a shelf. I knew its contents and I knew where I had put it. As I left my teenage years behind and entered my twenties, work schedule pretty much excluded church attendance and if that sounds like an excuse, it should come as no surprise.

Eventually, I found myself working for the 911 Center. Every shift, I heard the panic and the fear of people in trauma, people experiencing life-changing events. I remember a man, I don't even remember why he called, but I remember that after his emergency was being taken care of, before disconnecting, he asked if he could say a prayer with me. His prayer of thanks for all of us in civil service, his prayer for blessings on each of our lives deeply moved me and capped of a full spectrum of emotion I had experienced at 911. I began to feel in my heart a hunger for knowledge about God. I also needed to feel good about myself, good about the person I was, about the man I had become. I was all too aware of poor choices I had made, people I had hurt and worse still, the damage I had done to my own witness to others that knew I held myself up as a Christian.

I learned that nobody will have a personal relationship with Christ Jesus until they realize that they actually do need Christ Jesus. Well, when will you realize that you need Him? Is it an easy choice? Do you need no convincing? Some people have to reach rock bottom. Some people have to get to a place where they finally realize, unmistakably that they need Jesus. I believed in Jesus. I had been baptized and I was sincere in my public confession of faith, but I had wandered far, far away from the sweet, gentle boy that had been baptized. I accepted an opportunity to go to Africa. It was something that was unmistakably the work of God. I've already shared about the details of how things fell into place and made way where there was no way for me to go. I committed. I went. While I was there, I had only myself and my faith. I found that still, small flickering flame of belief within me - and out of necessity - out of desperation - I asked God what I could do to survive what had quickly become one of the most challenging experiences of my life. Out of that moment of crisis and discovery, I began a new chapter of my life. A chapter I like to call "Out of Nowhere."

The beauty of my faith amazes me and sustains me. What's more, as I got myself into a right relationship, a healthy relationship with Jesus Christ, I found that God was moving mountains on my behalf and was moving amazing blessings into my life. I have experienced a renewed relationship with my family, my church and I have been blessed to share my journey with one of my absolute best friends - the same friend whose World Religions paper inspired me to write this blog today. As I look forward, I am embarking on the best time of my life; a career in law enforcement, getting my own house (not yet, someday sooner than later I hope) and, God willing, having a family of my own. My family will be a Christian family, but not because of tradition. My family will be a Christian family because I will make sure my family knows how being a Christian changed my life, how being a Christian saved my life, how being a Christian took my life and gave it back to me, more wonderful and more blessed than I could have ever imagined.

This has been my story but it's also your story. I hope you'll find your story in my story and I hope it inspires you, just as I was inspired when I found my story in the story of my friend.